1) Worry-wart/Freak-out parenting. This is on my mind after reading a Facebook post about "The Peanut Butter Controversy" by Planning Family. Okay, here is my thought on the matter: JUST BE REASONABLE!! Okay I feel better now.
It seems like a lot of parents just freak out about things that they have no control over. I can't know in advance if my baby is going to have an allergy to anything, or if something is going to hurt him, or if some random disaster is going to happen. To me, it just seems like I would be adding unnecessary stress that I don't need to be dealing with if I were to worry about it.
Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying that I won't be taking precautions against things happening. I will of course make sure that my home is baby-safe and that I don't put my baby in danger or anything. But what I am saying is that it's ridiculous when parents go overboard.
Keeping your child away from peanut butter (or whatever) entirely just because you think there's some remote chance that they'll have an allergy is crazy. I know they shouldn't have it before a certain age, but at some point they're going to, and there's no need to freak out.
There are other things in this category that seriously irk me, but I'm not going there. I'll sum it up by saying that staying sane and being reasonable is the way to go. Moderation is the key, people. Being healthy, or safe, or whatever, is awesome -- in moderation. Going to extremes is just not necessary.
2) Kids are gonna be kids. I was reading this article that's really about using technology as a soother for your kids, but it said more than that to me.
There are "guidelines" about kids and technology. I totally get that. But they are just that -- guidelines. (Yes, this kind of goes back to the reasonableness argument previously.) When deciding on technology's role in your family's life, you MUST take into account your individual family. What works for one family may not work for another. And that fact doesn't make one thing wrong and another right. I like this quote from the article:
“I hate to see parents fall back on guidelines and then feel horribly guilty about everything they do. If you have to put your kid in front of a television set to run to the bathroom, that’s not going to harm them irreparably. It’s when you park them in front of the television for hours at a time, or don’t look at the cumulative role of technology in their lives, that’s problematic.”That is exactly how I feel. And I don't even have to explain further, because that just says everything I am thinking.
The next thing I got out of this article is something that I think many people (and not just parents) need a lesson on: Kids are.........(wait for it)........KIDS! That was deep wasn't it...haha! Really, you would think that this would be common sense, but it apparently isn't. I think that this a problem not only with parents, but in society as a whole.
In society, it feels (to me) like people look down on kids acting like kids. They are shocked or annoyed when kids around them (restaurants, grocery stores, malls, etc) do what all kids do: talk, play, throw fits, cry, act cranky, laugh, be loud in general, and whatever else I've missed. They look down on parents for not "controlling" their kids. All kids are not going to be models of perfection at all times. That's just all there is to it. Yes, a 12 year old probably should not be having a temper tantrum in Harris Teeter, but it's not all that unusual for a 3 year old. And it's not bad either, it just happens. Parents don't need to feel intimidated by the weight of other peoples judgement.
As a parent, however, people still expect that their children act like adults and are upset when they act like children. I have seen parents who expect that their 2 year old will understand and behave like a 10 year old. Or an 8 year old to understand and behave like a 15 year old. They expect this and treat their kids in that manner. It frustrates me because I can see the frustration in the child and the stress it causes to the family unit. I also don't understand why parents do this. There's no need for all that stress! If parents just relax and let their kids act like kids, their home will be a happier, less stressful place.
Of course, in saying this I don't mean that kids should be able to do whatever they want, so don't send me any angry comments. I agree that there should be discipline for children, it helps them grow and mature into well balanced adults. I just think that it should be tailored to the individual child and that childs growth level.
One more thing that irks me is that when people become parents, they don't expect their life to change. They think that they will still be able to do the things that they could do before kids, and continue with their pre-kiddo lifestyles. This is not reality!!! If you go out to eat without kids, you can enjoy a nice, leisurely meal anywhere you want to. With kids, however, you may not be able to do that. If your child is tired, you may have to leave early. Or if your child starts to act up, you may have to take them outside for a few minutes. That's just the way life works with kids. Yes, this baby will be my first, but I have enough family and friends with kids that I feel like I can speak intelligently on this subject from my observations. This quote from the article is what spoke to me on this area:
"But the second part of this is that parents need to know how to let their kids be kids. Kids throw fits. That’s just what happens. That means you have to change. Maybe you eat earlier, or you leave the restaurant in the middle of the meal, or one of you eats and the other one takes the kid out for a walk. Don’t apologize for your child being a child, just do what needs to happen."I LOVE that last sentence. It really sums up what I mean about the matter.
I didn't realize at the outset how long this post was going to be. Sorry about the length, but this is just what has been weighing on my mind lately. Of course, preparing to be a parent makes me think about things like this more often. Hope everyone enjoys their day!
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